Here Comes Another Summer
Let me preface this as usual by reminding everyone that I am really not comfortable writing or talking about the web.
Last year I shared a side project I had been working on, Sound of Summer, which I built on top of some metadata I’d been storing for songs in iTunes. It was very fulfilling! I built it using Ruby on Rails and deployed it to Heroku because some of the APIs I was using required a server side component and I was just sick of PHP. But because of an API upgrade, I was able to take it off of Rails and make it completely client-side. This was very liberating somehow.
Essentially I did this because I want to put my work up on GitHub. My Ruby isn’t very strong because I’m not a Ruby developer, and when Sound of Summer was on Rails, I felt ashamed for that to be a representation of my ability when it had been cobbled together using Rails, and carefully considered on the front-end to the best of my ability at the time. This is like my first public thing on GitHub and it’s a huge deal because I just feel so ashamed of everything all the time. This is why I’m so vague and flippant when I write about making internet and why I am unable to answer the question “What are you working on?”. It’s so easy for me to say “I’m not working on anything interesting and I’m so bad at everything I’m doing” and steer the conversation toward the subject of perpetual nervousness.
I used to think this was a Chloe Problem but apparently it’s also a Woman Problem, which I discovered over the spring when the Ada Initiative was offering free private GitHub repos to women. Apparently a lot of women are intimidated to make their work public for fear of humiliation. This sucks, but it was comforting to know that there are other women who feel so shitty about themselves for imagined reasons. I don’t know how to fix this in myself or in the community of female developers, but Sound of Summer is now on GitHub for your perusal.